Have you ever thought, “Well, this just isn’t working?”
I have. Often.
Almost 2 years ago in the fall of ’22, I’d reached one of those points where I was trying so hard at everything but nothing was really working the way I thought it should. I was running 90-to-nothing nearly 24/7. I was worn out and aggravated about it all. I was putting in so much effort and didn’t feel like I had much to show for it.
I had a feeling that I needed some outside help because all the thinking and processing happening in my head wasn’t cutting it.
I’d gotten to know someone a close friend suggested I should meet. Her name was Brittany, and she was a life coach. She and I had a strong connection and hit it off right off the bat early that same year. When she learned about Jess and I creating The Collective, she was one of our biggest supporters and most active members.
I’d been to her website many times and followed her on Insta, but it wasn’t until I got to that low/frustrated point later that fall that I realized Brittany was the outside help I was looking for. We had an intro session and I decided to jump into working with her right away. I’m so glad I did.
I’ve forgotten just how many sessions I’d booked, but with the ebbs and flows of the year, I ended up finishing my last session almost to the day that I’d started the year before.
I took our sessions seriously. I took notes, and I asked questions when the lingo didn’t make sense (like, “coming from a place of choice.”) I even took the time to go back over my notes to help it all sync in.
Now just so you know, I’m not a person who takes the time to do that kind of thing. I’m more of a bulldozer. I take care of it, do the thing, and move on. Reflection isn’t my thing. I’d rather keep moving forward. I grew up with that “pull your big girl panties up and deal with it” mentality. Not always a healthy one come to find out.
That added effort after our sessions was most definitely not my norm but that’s just how invested I was. I knew something had to give, to change, and I was determined to do my part and show up.
We worked well together. Brittany guided me through it all, and I was making lots of changes and mind shifts along the way. These sessions started a change in me that I desperately needed to make. I never could have imagined everything that started unfolding as a result of these sessions.
What happened in that very last session was mind-blowing to me. Like I mentioned, we’re a year later at this point. I was so proud of how far I’d come. We used that last session as a catch-up so I could fill Brittany in on everything that had been moving in my life. It has been a while since our last session and so many big things were coming together. I finally felt like I had room to breathe again.
I remember saying to her, “I feel like I’ve finally found joy again and I’m not living in strife all the time.”
Do you know what her reply was? She said, “This is really interesting. I was just looking back at my notes from our initial session last year when I asked you what you would like out of these sessions. Do you know what you said?”
I honestly had no clue what I’d told her a year ago so I said, “no, what did I say?”
“You said, ‘I’m tired of living in strife. I wish I could just find joy again.’”
Talk about an answered prayer.
I truly believe it was the Lord who helped me voice that frustration that felt like it was ripping me from the inside. I know… that’s a pretty dramatic way of putting it. But think about it. The hamster wheel of strife can do that to you. Going, and doing, and trying, and never feeling like you’re getting anywhere. It’s exhausting. It wears you apart.
I also think it was the Lord who used me saying those words out loud to start a process of healing and mending in my soul in a way that only He can fix.
I’ve learned to listen when I feel like something isn’t working anymore. I’ve learned that’s usually a prompt from Him. A prompt for me to ask Him what He’s inviting me into.
That question almost always prompts an interesting journey for me. You should give it a shot.
When you feel like life just isn’t working anymore, pray and ask, “Lord, what are you inviting me into?” It’s a great start. Just be open to what He has planned. Things could get interesting.
